Evaluation time!

Thanks to my forced month of vacation ( slash packing, shopping, organizing my life , and generally tying up loose ends), I have had time to actually read books. Not just the kind assigned to me, or the kind in the library- tangible books with fun titles and covers with shiny pink foil heels and leopard print font. I even threw in some Nabokov so I could feel brainy. Its been a treat, and thus has enlightened me of two things:

1) I would save a lot of friggen money if my parents would buy me a Nook or a Kindle. Seriously, my room has 3 bookcases, all full, some shelves are doubled. Think of the trees that we would save! (damn UNCW and all of their Eco-initiatives, somehow ingrained in me now...)

2) This opportunity to read other authors work has had me pondering about my own writing skills. Many of you don't know, but I almost double majored in Creative Writing. This led to me taking many writing classes (which I loved ) but to be honest I dropped the double because I felt like an outcast ( the granola types and angsty artist didn't really enjoy my love of leopard print and felt that occasionally having a happy ending was too "lifetime movie"- sorry I actually like my life). I tend to pride myself on being a fairly decent writer, I lean towards the non-fiction genre because I find my life to be endlessly entertaining. Ergo, I turn to blogging.

So, I turn to re-read my past 3 post to revel in how insightful and raw I am (with a ton of wit and sass of course), and I was kinda smacked in the face with what I read. I feel like I have been writing to please my audience. Although much of what I wrote encompassed what I felt in the moment, I may have edited with a heavy hand- kind of like the airbrusher that retouched the Sex & the City 2 poster ( that alien is NOT Kim Catrall). I took too much of me out of what I was writing.

Please don't believe that I have been lying in my post. That isn't true at all, but I am going to promise from here on out that I will be myself. No more censorship! Freedom of speech and all that jazz!

xoxo,

B

Home

I recently moved back home for the month of June, just until I leave for my job as a Regional Consultant. This move and transition has had me thinking about the importance of home, what makes a place home.

I haven't lived at home since the summer after my freshman year of college, most of which I spent driving back and forth to Wilmington to stay with my friends. I really think that year is when I started calling Wilmington "home". It was an odd transition, as in my heart I still considered Wilton going home, but when I was there , or here I should say, it was more like a vacation. I would be home Friday night after I was done with classes, Saturday would be spent with my Best Friend who was going to NC State, and I would be gone Sunday as soon as lunch was over so I could make it back in time for chapter. I would complain when my mom was taking too long with goodbyes and say " Mom, I have got to get home!". She would get angry and curtly respond " THIS is your home." , I would roll my eyes like every other 19 year old, kiss her on the check and spin my tires as I sped out of the driveway. To me , at that point in my life, home was the town I lived in , the place where my friends and I were building our own lives that didn't involve my family.

When I hit 22, and graduation rolled around, something changed. I am not sure if it came with timing or maybe just a change in perspective, but home became a much more sentimental place for me. The first time I came back to Granville County, post graduation, things seemed different. I anticipated the drive home, seeing my family, familiar places, friends I had not seen since Graduation in 2005. It was exciting and comforting all at once, and It was in these moments that I realized my mom was right all along. This place, these people, these experiences would always be home. They helped to shape me and mold me into the person I am, and I will always have a little bit of red dirt, sweet tea, and southern lilt in me.

Yet, I am going to continue to contest my mother, I think every person had more than one home. It can be the place you currently live, the place you grew up, the place that made a drastic impact on your experience, or the place your heart feels most comfortable. I have many homes, all providing me with something different, all fixing the little parts of me that may could use some TLC, stability in the storms of life.

So for now, regardless of how much I have changed or how much home has changed, I am going to let home soak in , and cherish it while I can rather than counting down the hours and minutes I can get out of here.

XO

B